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20121201
20121231
STATION
COM 41
LANGUAGE
English 41
Search Results 0 to 40 of about 41 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Dec 6, 2012 11:30pm PST
. >> i'm the general manager at the madame in washington d.c.. >> as a child did you dream of turning people slowly in a circle. >> oh, it burns! >> i did it. my work was done. i sat, then the artists got to work. while they attempted to reproduce my waxy pallor i headed to the museum in washington d.c. to check out my future wax companions. my guide was an incredibly life like dan ragosky. (laughter) we should get going. >> come this way. >> we started with a history of the museum. >> is it tussaud. >> why so french? >> she was a french woman. >> okay, but you're in america now, why not change the name to mamma doesy's house of candles. >> it has been around for 200 years. >> okay, all right. then it was off to the hall of celebrities. >> so this is all wax. >> that's correct. >> i know what i'm doing here. i'm not just some ham ture coming here and licking wax figurines. >> you may not lick them. >> let's move on. this is tiger woods. >> this is senator jackson. >> okayment i didn't recognize him because this is the longest i have ever seen him go without screaming the word [bleep].
Comedy Central
Dec 3, 2012 10:30am PST
see bipartisan compromise in washington. and i siner is vie mean that i said it. (laughter) sadly, the power-mad democrats decided that just because people voted for them, they're in power. and they're already trampling our freedoms. >> reporter: democrats are proving yet again they will do anything to push through their liberal agenda. now they have gone a step too far. senate democrats with harry reid leading the charge want to drastically change the filibuster in order to limit the republicans' ability to oppose certain legislation. >> stephen: yes, harry reid is trying to stop republicans from blocking certain legislation. for instance, any legislation. he's chipping away at the sacred senatorial institution known as the filibuster which allows the minority party to prevent a bill from coming to a vote simply by speaking non-stop on the senate floor. for instance, by reading the phone book. that's how, in 1974, the d.c. metro area yellow pages were signed into law. (laughter) the courts have since repeatedly upheld that clay's audio has the most far out selection of 8-tracks i
Comedy Central
Dec 10, 2012 11:30pm PST
else as "the washington post" recently reported in the spring of 2011 ailes asked a fox news analyst headed to afghanistan to pass on his thoughts to general david petraeus, resign from the military and run for president. and ailes wasn't just encouraging petraeus to run, he put a serious offer on the table. which was secretly taped i assume, by paula broadwell hiding under the table. (laughter) listen petraeus respond to ailes offer. >> tell him if i ever ran, but i won't, but if i ever ran i would take him up on his offer. >> okay, all right. >> he would quit fox. >> all right. >> and bankroll it or maybe i'm confused and that was rupert. >> i think one is bankrolling it. >> big boss is bankrolling it. rogg certificate going to run and the rest of russ going to be here in-house. >> stephen: okay so, if petraeus ran for president murdoch would pay for it, ailes would manage it, and fox news would sell it though their audience. now if you think about it, a news network choosing the candidate sounds like a conflict of interest. so don't think about it. because it's not really about co
Comedy Central
Dec 13, 2012 11:30pm PST
fighting the budget battle. right now in washington they are trying to say that the only way forward is to cut program force people in poverty. they would want to leave jesus even out of the manager that is unacceptable. >> jon: . >> stephen: jesus chose to poor. hold on. jesus chose to be poor. he is the god of all creation, true. >> because-- . >> stephen: wait, wait, answer the question, senator, answer the question. did he choose to be poor. >> yes, because he-- in a relationship with people. >> stephen: is jesus an example for off us. i believe that poor people are choosing to be poor. >> no, it's all about inviting to you touch the pain of the world as real. and then have an active experience of hope. as long as we stay sealed up in our cells we will never know. >> stephen: but if i'm sealed fup myself i can seal all my money in with me. >> but it doesn't last, that's jesus's word. it doesn't last. jess sus all about come, be community, be connected. be connected with each other. and that's why the shepherds came to the stable. the maji came, everyone comes and then we are comm
Comedy Central
Nov 30, 2012 7:00pm PST
. no surprise that one of the new states is washington. what dow expect from a state named for a guy who wears q-- capri slacks. (laughter) but one of the state's biggest corporations, boeing, a name synonymous with aerospace excellence and bonner sound effects has indicated in union contract talks that they will deny equal pension benefits to married gay employees. hey, hey, yeah, i'm angry at the gays too. hey, gay boeing plorx the only marriage you should have is to your job unless your job is in the cockpit. (laughter) well-- folks, to commemorate this refreshing denial of human dignity, i'm giving a tip of my hadd to boeing for being gay rights pioneers. kuz if you think about it this is great for the gays. if companies don't have to pay out survivor pensions for same-sex couples it will save the millions. soon every company will want them. there will be a gay job explosion. boy the way do not google the term gay job-- nation, this blatant devaluing of gay partners is great for any company's bottom line. or top line, he wouldn't know, i'm not into that lifestyle. folks, next up on-- the wag
Comedy Central
Dec 3, 2012 11:30pm PST
may seem like a positive development to some. but as "the washington post" charles lane recently wrote fear of street crime once converted many a white working class democrat into a republican. but safer streets have now blunted what was once a sharp wedge issue. and folks, without crime the gop's only remaining wedge issues are gay marriage, immigration, flag burning, voter fraud, welfare, gun control and of course contraception. now in the good old-- (laughter) in the good old bad days of the '80s republicans could turn out the suburban white vote simply by showing images of scary guys like willie horton being allowed to go in and out of prison. to this day i'm terrified to go through a revolving door. (laughter) now getting-- tough on crime was a key conservative issue that is gone. and worse, it's the conservative's own damn fault. take rudy giuliani. the republican tough on crime new york mayor who cracked down on turnstile jumpers, broken windows and squeegee guys. squeegee guys without curiously disappeared right before the opening of new york's body exhibits. (laughter) unfortu
Comedy Central
Dec 4, 2012 11:30pm PST
washington handing the limemys their crumpets at yorktown! hay, brits, sit on this! so i mean it with every fiber of my irish being when i say kate is preggers. oh, my god! that's beautiful. you are my queen! (laughter) and the next six months are going to be so exciting. i wonder what they'll name it. if it's a boy will they go with arthur george edward william? because you can make a strong case for william arthur edward george. (laughter) so that might be a little too edgy. he'd get teased by his schoolmates slash subjects. if it's a girl they'd have to honor william's mother so she might be named princess diana (bleep) camilla. (laughter) of course (bleep), (bleep), (bleep) camilla. hope i'm pronouncing that correctly. of course even kate the great is only human and elegant angelic human whose effortless grace is a beacon to the world. (laughter) this is starting out as a bit of a bumpy ride. >> the duchess of cambridge is in this hospital still suffering from what we're told is acute morning sickness. >> it's morn like morning, noon, and night sickness. >> it's extreme vomiting during
Comedy Central
Dec 11, 2012 11:30pm PST
america into a second recession things are not looking too good. >> in washington, a fly in the ointment. debt deal negotiations have stalled. >> the fiscal cliff stalemate remains. >> the standoff continues. there isn't a lot of reason for hope. >> democrats and republicans are blaming each other for the stalled negotiations. >> who's going to blink sglirs what's going to blink first. >> the white house is daring republicans literally to blink. (laughter) >> stephen: obama is daring republicans literally to blink. well, the joke's on him! (laughter) because i know some republicans who had their eyelids surgically removed. (laughter) (cheers and applause) now obama won't budge off his calls for $1.6 trillion in new tax revenue over the coming decade, mostly from increasing tax rates and taxes on upper-bracket earners. folks, that's just punishing our nation's job creators. america's billionaires are the engine that drives our economy through smart investments! and occasionally through dumb ones. (laughter) today house speaker john boehner struck back with his plan to cut spending by dema
Search Results 0 to 40 of about 41 (some duplicates have been removed)